


who do you love?

by actuallyshua



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anniversary, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Scavenger Hunts, This is gross and cheesy I'm so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-04
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2020-04-07 14:12:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19086694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/actuallyshua/pseuds/actuallyshua
Summary: Joshua was searching for the truth. For his love.Luckily, Wonwoo left him clues to find it.





	who do you love?

"Are you happy?"

Wonwoo opened his eyes as the familiar voice asked him that question. It was still dark, so he knew it wasn't morning. Maybe he was dreaming? Or maybe Joshua was talking in his sleep again? He did that from time to time, mumbling nonsense into his pillow in the middle of the night. But Wonwoo turned his head to the side and saw Joshua was very much awake, left cheek mushed up slightly as he was snuggling into his pillow.

"Am I happy?" He repeated the question, furrowing his eyebrows. 

"Yeah. Are you happy?" 

Wonwoo knew it would be a tennis game of just repeating the question over and over again unless he answered, but he was unsure where it was all coming from. Of course Wonwoo was happy, how could he not be?

"Like," he paused and rolled over completely so he was facing Joshua, blowing some hair out of his face in the process, "In general? Or right now? I'm confused." 

"In general. With us." 

"Of course I'm happy with us. Why? Are you not?" It came out a little more panicked than he meant, but he was always bad at hiding his emotions within his words. Joshua was always inquisitive, but never about this. Never about them. They were always set in stone, meant to be, tied by the red strings of fate, among other metaphors for soulmates. 

"I am," He smiled lightly but Wonwoo wasn't really buying it, "I was just asking, I guess." 

"Is everything okay? You've never asked me anything like that before." 

Joshua settled even further into his pillow, which Wonwoo didn't think was possible, "Yeah. It's just we've been together for almost five years now. That's a long time. Can't hurt to do a check in every once in a while, you know?" 

And that made sense, Wonwoo guessed. It  _had_ been a long time. But he never really saw the need to check in. If Joshua wasn't happy, surely he would've said something by now. He wouldn't have bought this apartment with Wonwoo, wouldn't have adopted two cats, wouldn't have shared this bed with him every night. Right?

Maybe now he wasn't sure.

"You sure nothing is wrong? You know you can always tell me if something's up. Even if it sucks, I always want to know what's going on in that head of yours." He reached out and brushed some of Joshua's unruly bedhead out of his face. Wonwoo loved Joshua always, in every setting. But especially so in the privacy of their dark bedroom. This was a Joshua for only Wonwoo to see. With the slight bags under his eyes and the sleepiness in his voice. 

"I promise nothing is wrong," Joshua quickly pressed a kiss to the hand that Wonwoo had laid on his face, "Sorry if I scared you. Let's go back to sleep, okay? You have to be up in two hours for work." 

Wonwoo was about to say okay, about to let it go, but he stopped himself and said, "I've always been happy with you. You know that, right?" 

"Yes," Joshua smiled again, his eyes closing, "I love you." 

They said goodnight and shared a quick kiss, but Wonwoo found it difficult to fall back asleep. Even after Joshua's reassurance and the fact that the man was sleeping delicately with his head on Wonwoo's chest, he just stared up at the ceiling. There had to be more behind the question, he knew that much.

Wonwoo was still trapped in his thoughts when the sun came up, when his alarm went off, when he got ready for work and said goodbye to the one who had left him sleepless with just one question. 

It was distracting him from work at this point and he huffed, leaning back in his chair and running his hands through his hair. Obviously hearing him, Seungcheol popped his head over the cubicle wall and smiled lightly, "You alright over there, chief?" 

"Yeah, I guess. I don't know. My mind is just elsewhere today. Plus, these quarterly reports are actively sucking the soul from my body." 

The other man huffed, "You're telling me. C'mon," He patted the wall, "Let's take a break." 

Wonwoo grabbed his coffee mug and followed Seungcheol out of their dull office and the two shared idle conversation as they took the elevator ride down. Thankfully it was a nice day so they didn't have to cower under an awning, and instead opted for sitting on one of the benches outside their building. Wonwoo reached up to his neck and loosened his tie a little, forever feeling like he was choking when he had it on. 

"You want one?" Seungcheol offered up his pack of cigarettes and Wonwoo shook his head, holding one hand up, "No thanks. I quit, remember?" 

"Ah, that's right. One of Joshua's many positive influences."

"Jihoon's been nagging you to quit too, you know. Literally zero negative side effects of quitting." 

Seungcheol laughed at this, shaking his head, "Yeah, yeah. I know. I'll get to it. But back to you. Why'd you walk in here looking like an extra off the set of The Walking Dead? Trouble in paradise?" 

It wasn't trouble, so to say. 

"I don't know. In the middle of the night last night, Joshua asked me if I'm happy. Like, totally unprompted. And then he said it was just because we've been together so long that he wanted to check in," Wonwoo took a sip of coffee and leaned back against the bench, "I can't stop thinking about it, you know? He said it was nothing but I don't buy that. It was obviously something." 

"How long have you guys been together now?"

"Almost five years. Our anniversary is on Friday, actually." 

Seungcheol made a humming noise, exhaling through is nose and Wonwoo waved the smoke away from his face, the smell still so tempting. 

"Well, listen. This is coming from the place as one of your best, and only, friends. Joshua is probably just asking you that because you're," He paused, "I don't know how to say this. You're content, right? Of course you're happy but you've also settled."

Wonwoo furrowed his eyebrows, "What do you mean?"

"When was the last time you guys went out?" 

"We went out to dinner two nights ago." 

"Where?"

Why did Wonwoo feel like he was on trial?

"That Chinese place that we always go to."

Seungcheol clapped his hands together, scaring Wonwoo who almost spilled his coffee on his hands, "Exactly! Think about the last time you took him somewhere new or did something out of your comfort zone. Like, really think about it." 

And so he did. Wonwoo racked his brain, searching and scanning his memories before landing on the trip he and Joshua took to Spain. It was their third year anniversary. Two years ago. 

His face turned a little red, the color dusting his cheeks and he cleared his throat, "Two years ago we went on that vacation to Spain." 

"And that, my dear friend, is where your problem lies. Two years have passed since you guys did something new. That's easy to see even as an outsider. I love you, Wonwoo, but you've settled with how things are right now. Joshua is probably worried that you're bored because things haven't changed. You do the same thing everyday and he just ne-"

"I thought you said you were quitting." An annoyed voice interrupted them and Seungcheol let out a surprised noise, quickly tossing his cigarette down and stomping on it. Wonwoo looked to where the voice was coming from to see an agitated looking Jihoon standing there, bags of food in his hands. 

"Sorry, love. You know I will. What are you doing here?" 

"I was bringing you two lunch," Jihoon lifted up the bags, "But now I'm here to bring only  Wonwoo lunch." 

"Awh, Ji, you shouldn't have." Wonwoo smiled and laughed as Seungcheol groaned. 

Jihoon just rolled his eyes and placed on the bags in Seungcheol's lap and the other in Wonwoo's, "I'm only giving you yours because I know you'll eat vending machine candy otherwise, and this one has no seafood so you can have it Wonwoo. How is work going so far?" 

"Wonwoo and Joshua are having relationship problems."

Wonwoo rolled his eyes, "We're not having prob-"

"Please don't tell me you guys are breaking up," Jihoon interrupted him, "If you guys don't make it, the rest of us are doomed."

"We are not breaking up. Seungcheol thinks that Joshua is bored. Or worried that I'm bored. Or something, I don't know. I'm still confused." 

"I think Joshua needs you spice it up, that's all. It's almost your anniversary, yeah? What do you have planned?" 

Wonwoo looked down at his coffee and swirled it around a little, "We were just going to go out to dinner, I think."

"To that Chinese place?" Jihoon asked and Wonwoo was suddenly, all at once, hyper aware of how predictable he was. His friends weren't judging him, he knew that, but he still felt like he was under a microscope. Was Joshua really bored with him? He'd been so comfortable, so happy and content with where things were. Never did he think that that would be an issue of sorts. 

Wonwoo thought back to two years ago, when he planned that trip. He wasn't really one for traveling all that much but he always knew how much Joshua loved it. He'd spent weeks planning everything out, activities and transportation and the hotels, everything. When he'd given Joshua the tickets, it was hard not to feel dizzy from the bright smile that erupted on his face. They hugged and kissed like they never had before. The entire flight, Joshua was glowing.

The entire trip, really. Joshua was amazed by the sights of Spain but Wonwoo was amazed by him. 

How beautiful he looked on the beach, at the outdoor restaurants during sunset, in the hotel room. Wonwoo had taken countless mental photographs of his boyfriend, his forever, and was now realizing it had been months since he'd revisited them. 

"You should do something different. Do something you've never done before. You love Joshua, right?" Seungcheol asked him and Wonwoo was quick to answer, the quickest he'd ever been, "Of course I do. More than anything."

"Then show him."

 

 

♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡

 

 

Joshua woke up alone.

He never woke up alone.

Wonwoo was always puttering around their bedroom, tripping over their cats and attempting to tie his tie. It amazed Joshua, really, how the man had worked his office job for years now and still couldn't tie his own tie. 

But today, there was no mumbling. No yelling at the cats to stop eating his shoelaces. No tripping over dirty laundry. 

No Wonwoo.

Joshua sat up in bed and rubbed his eyes, looking around with a small pout on his lips. Maybe Wonwoo was in the kitchen making coffee but Joshua couldn't smell any being brewed.

"Wonwoo?" He called out, hoping to get a reply.

Nothing.

"There's no way he forgot," Joshua said to himself as he got out of bed, his feet hitting the cold hardwood and he made his way out of their bedroom, still looking around, "He wouldn't do that." 

Maybe he was just reassuring himself. Maybe Wonwoo did forget. Or maybe Joshua had the date wrong. It was probably still Thursday and Wonwoo had to make an early meeting, not wanting to wake him up. He grabbed his phone off the kitchen counter and opened the screen, seeing the date. 

_Friday, June 7_

Joshua felt like crying. He'd known things had been stagnant with Wonwoo for a while now but he didn't think it was really that bad. Bad enough to forget this milestone. He'd been looking forward to it for months now. Joshua had told himself that maybe the anniversary would snap Wonwoo out of whatever slump he'd been in. Joshua had made plans for it, even. Roses and candles and music. The works. 

He wiped at his eyes quickly and shook his head, "Maybe I'll just call him." He once again spoke to no one.

Joshua was about to find Wonwoo's contact, an easy one as he was always the most recent call or text, when he saw one of their cats with something that she didn't normally have. Moon and Venus always had collars on, they never left the apartment so it was more of a formality, but Venus never had a card attached to it. 

He furrowed his eyebrows and was quick to grab her, Venus never the skittish one to run away from him. She saw this as an opportunity to wiggle around in his arms and attempt to eat his hair, but Joshua evaded her enough to pluck the small card from her tag and set her down, much to her dismay.

With curious eyes and slightly shaky hands, he opened it. 

 

_You probably thought I forgot, didn't you?_

_And I'm sure that made you very...blue_

_(I'm trying really hard here, okay?)_

_Today, you have a game to play_

_I've left you clues to lead the way_

_And so with this one, it's time to start_

_Where we first met, among the art_

 

He was really crying this time. But not from fear, not from sadness. Wonwoo had given him a scavenger hunt. That clever bastard. 

"Where we first met, among the art." He read again, wiping his eyes once more. They hadn't met at an art gallery, no, it was Minghao's apartment. Which was, in Joshua's eyes, overwhelmingly decorated with pieces of art that he never understood. 

Joshua got ready with haste, not wanting to waste a single moment of his day. He quickly said goodbye to the cats and darted out of their apartment, heart thumping in his chest so rapidly, he was sure any passersby could hear it. 

Luckily, Minghao and Junhui lived two bus stops away, but even that seemed like miles and miles. Joshua's cheeks hurt from trying to hide his smile, not wanting to look insane to the other passengers, but he was awestruck. He was surprised and overwhelmed and...happy. He was happy. 

Of course Wonwoo wouldn't forget and through all of the emotions he was feeling, he was disappointed in himself for even thinking that in the first place. No matter how routine things got, how bored Wonwoo seemed, Joshua was loved by him. 

He reached his friend's apartment, finally, and was quick to hit the 2B buzzer.

"Good morning, lovebird! Come on up!" Junhui was the one to answer. He buzzed Joshua in and he made the climb up the stairs, Junhui already at the door to greet him with a smile.

"You're lucky, you know. Wonwoo was here the other day and let me tell you, that boy is creative." 

"Where's the clue?"

"You're not even going to say hello," Junhui pouted as Joshua brushed passed him and into the apartment, looking around, "How rude! Now I'm going to make you look for it." 

Joshua thought back to the note. Where they first met. It was six years ago, at Minghao's birthday party. Wonwoo was a friend of a friend, Joshua wasn't sure who, but he'd never forget the first time he saw him.

Standing awkwardly by himself, nursing a cup of vodka soda, next to-

"The television!" Joshua exclaimed and rushed over to it, looking around before his eyes landed on a small red envelope, just like the one Venus had. 

"Junhui, do you remember where we first met?" Minghao appeared from their bedroom and Junhui opened his mouth to speak before closing it quickly and Minghao rolled his eyes.

"That's what I thought. You know we met at a New Years Eve party and Junhui was so drunk, he called me beautiful and then threw up on my new Gucci shoes."

Joshua laughed at this, holding the envelope in his hands, "And yet, here you are." 

"Exactly! Now read the note, I've been dying to know what it says!" Junhui clapped his hands together.

Joshua, just as he had with the first, delicately opened it. 

 

_I think the first clue was kind of easy_

_It's hard to do this without being cheesy_

_For your second clue, it has nothing to do with squids_

_But everything to do with where we got our kids_

_(You know how hard it is to rhyme with kids? IMPOSSIBLE)_

 

"Oh my god, he said squids!" Minghao hid his laughter behind his hand and Joshua rolled his eyes, "He's trying, okay? Wonwoo has never been much of a poet." 

"He's talking abut your cats, right? Crazy cat dad. Where did you adopt them?" 

"The shelter in Namdaemun. It's going to take me forever to get there." 

Minghao shook his head, "I wouldn't worry about that. Just get going and have fun. He really put a lot of thought into this, you know?" 

Joshua watched as the two shared a look and he was confused, but bid them goodbye and continued on his way, placing the second note in his bag with the first. He made sure they were laying flat, not getting crinkled. He knew he would keep them forever. 

Leaving the apartment building, Joshua stopped in his tracks when he saw Wonwoo's coworker, Seungcheol, leaning against his car. The man looked up when the heavy apartment door closed and he smiled brightly, "Hi, Joshua! Looks like you've got the second clue," He opened the door to the backseat of the car and Joshua took a couple steps forward, "We better get going." 

Joshua slid into the backseat and Seungcheol closed the door, doing a quick jog before getting in and driving away from the building.

"Don't you have to work today?" 

"I have a bunch of vacation days saved up. I'm always ready to sacrifice one for romance." 

Joshua smiled at this, "He hasn't done anything like this in a long time." 

"He knows that." 

It as all the two said to each other. It was really all that needed to be said. Joshua spent the rest of the drive just watching the city pass him by, anxiously tapping his fingers against his knees. The car came to a stop in front of the shelter and Seungcheol glanced at him in the mirror, "I'll still be out here when you're done. Good luck!" 

Joshua gave a quick thank you and exited the car, rushing through the door of the shelter. Luckily, he recognized the boy behind the counter, the same one who was there when they adopted Venus and Moon. Maybe that was coincidence, or maybe Wonwoo knew that. Joshua wouldn't put anything past his boyfriend at this point.

"Hi, Mr.Hong! Welcome back." 

Joshua should've remembered his name but he was eternally grateful for the name tag that was on the boy's shirt, "Hi, Chan. Good to see you again. You wouldn't happen to know where a small red envelope is, would you?" 

"I would, but I'm not supposed to tell you. He told me you have to figure it out yourself." Chan shrugged lightly and Joshua let out a small huff, looking around the front area of the shelter. It was set up like a pet store and he thought back to when they brought the cats home. Wonwoo was too busy holding them and fawning over them to shop, so Joshua did most of it. They got everything the cats needed. Food, beds, collars. It was such a fun day, one he would surely never forget. Wonwoo had been begging him to get a cat for the longest time and somehow, they ended up with two. But Joshua couldn't deny Wonwoo anything, really. The way he lit up when the two kittens were circling around him, snuggling into his neck when he held them. 

But back to the task at hand. He needed to find his next clue. Wonwoo loved everything in this place, how was Joshua supposed to figure out w-

"The tower!" He shouted, causing Chan to jump and Joshua quickly apologized before hurrying to the corner of the store. There was a massive cat tower that Wonwoo had begged Joshua to get for the girls, but he had said no. It was way too big for their apartment, it would've taken up their entire living room. Joshua was willing to sacrifice a little sleep and safe walking through his apartment for them, but he wasn't ready to sacrifice space like that. 

Tucked into one of the many beds that were attached to the tower, a red envelope sat. 

Joshua quickly picked it up, much less delicate than the last two, and opened it with fervor.

 

_I can't believe you didn't let me get this tower_

_Honestly, it left me a little sour_

_But you've made it this far_

_Because of Seungcheol and his car_

_You're a couple steps closer to the end_

_And for your fourth clue, go to the place where we first made amend_

 

That was easy. It was a night he would never forget. 

"Thanks, Chan! I appreciate you playing along. I'm sure we'll be back soon to buy more treats for the girls!" 

"No problem," Chan waved, "Have fun!" 

Joshua practically dove into the backseat of the car, scaring Seungcheol enough so that the man accidentally honked the horn and Joshua smiled, "We need to go to the park off of Hongik University Street." 

"You got it, boss!" 

The park was where Wonwoo found Joshua after their first real fight. Joshua barely even remembered what it was about, but he remembered the shouting, the way Wonwoo slammed the bedroom door, the way he ran out of the apartment, how much he cried. He didn't mean to go far from home but it was like his feet couldn't stop. Joshua was never sure how Wonwoo found him, he never asked. He supposed he didn't really need to.

Wonwoo always found him. 

"Why is there so much traffic?" He leaned his head against the window and Seungcheol laughed lightly, "Don't worry, there's no time limit. You know he'd wait forever." 

Joshua bit his lip gently as he smiled for the hundredth time that day. Because he did know that. With each step he taking, every breath, every moment leading him closer to the end of the hunt, he was blooming with memories of how Wonwoo loved him. Replacing the doubt that had been swirling around in his mind were flashbacks to the moments where he felt like he was flying. When Wonwoo would stay up with him until the wee hours of the morning studying for his exams, despite having to work in the morning. The time Wonwoo had seven bouquets of roses delivered to his shitty part time job and his coworkers relentlessly made fun of him but he didn't care. 

He thought about all the nights he couldn't sleep, plagued by nightmares and darkness. When Wonwoo would sit up in bed and hold Joshua against his chest, reminding him to breathe. Reminding him that he was safe. Repeating over and over again that he was loved. 

"Hey, I can tell by the look on your face that you're in some sort of gross, lovey dovey daydream, but snap out of it," Seungcheol pulled him from his thoughts and Joshua quickly shook his head a little, "We're here. I won't be here when you find the next one. Good luck." 

Joshua nodded and left the car, popping his head in before he left, "Thanks for this. For helping him. It really means a lot." 

Seungcheol just waved his hand once, "Please. He's an idiot, we all know that. But he's an idiot in love and he has a lot to show you still." 

Joshua wasn't really sure what that meant. Maybe the hunt. Maybe in life. Either way, he felt his heart swell again as he said goodbye and closed the door, walking into the park. It was littered with families, couples walking their dogs, the elderly feeding the birds. Like something out of a movie, really. All too good to be true, too serene. 

He thought for a moment that it was a little foolish of Wonwoo to try and hide a clue where they made up. It was the second bench on the left of the walkway, out in the open and surrounded by the passersby. Joshua didn't see any red around it and probably looked a bit crazy, pacing back and forth. But Wonwoo was smarter than that, he wouldn't have left it out for anyone to see. Joshua lightly snapped his fingers together and crouched down, peeking under the bench.

"Ha," He smiled and plucked the envelope that was taped to the wood, "Gotcha." 

Joshua took the time to sit down on the bench and open it, this one much longer than the last. 

 

_So, this hunt isn't very long_

_I'm sorry about that, Mr.Hong_

_(god, just kill me)_

_This is the final clue_

_It'll be very easy to tell you what to do_

_Go to the place where you see the sunset_

_A place that has always been a safe bet_

_The bridge with the most beautiful view_

_Where I first said "I love you."_

 

He wasn't sure why, Seungcheol had told him there was no time limit, but he ran. Joshua took off through the park, heart racing in his chest as his feet rapidly hit the pavement. Wonwoo had taken him down a small trip, reminding him of all his favorite places, their favorite times together. It wasn't a game, no. It was so much more than that. It was Wonwoo telling him that the love was still there. It had never gone away. It never  _would_ go away. Joshua told himself that every light eventually dims. It doesn't mean you have to throw away the entire the lamp, you just need to change the light bulb. This was the time for change, the time for a recharge. 

Joshua's feet came to a slow pace and he tried to catch his breath, wiping the sweat from his brow as he reached the bridge that crossed the Han river. The Banpo bridge was always crowded but Joshua knew where Wonwoo was. The air was the same as it had been that day. Warm but with a breeze to keep them cool. It was almost as if everything was exactly the same, like Wonwoo had been planning this for years. Joshua knew he hadn't been, but it was all too perfect. 

He let his hands glaze over the railing of the bridge, dusting it lightly as he walked. But he stopped in his tracks, gripping the railing harder now.

There he was. 

And oh, he was so beautiful. 

Wonwoo was leaning over the railing, looking out at the river. The breeze was picking up his hair delicately and he kept checking his watch. He didn't look nervous, not at all. He looked hopeful and excited. Joshua thought back to the first conversation they ever had. He was hooked from the first word, which was a small hello. He never really believed in fate, things like soulmates, until he met Wonwoo. No one would ever be as perfect for him as Wonwoo was. 

"I made it." He finally spoke, taking the final steps towards Wonwoo.

Wonwoo laughed lightly, just letting a breath out, before facing Joshua and nodding, "Of course you did. My clues were painfully obvious, after all." 

"Not to mention cheesy." 

"You know I've never been good with my words." 

There was a moment of silence, not uncomfortable or heavy, but needed. Joshua closed the gap between them more, reaching out and taking Wonwoo's hands in his. 

"Why did you do this?" He was whispering, unsure as to why.

Wonwoo gave his hands a squeeze, pressing his forehead against Joshua's, "I think I got lost. You asked me if I was happy. You said that you were just checking in. But that wasn't it. I got comfortable. Unmoving, unchanging. But Joshua, I'd never get bored of you. Of us, of anything. My life without you in it wouldn't be a life at all and I'm so sorry I've forgotten to tell you every single day how much you mean to me. I'm sorry I ever placed any doubt in your mind. I love you so much. Now, forever, and always. I've been so lucky to have you in my life for five years, always beside me and supporting me. I know I need to do better and I will. I promise you I'll never let you forget how much I love you. Never again." 

There was nothing Joshua could say to that, no words to capture how he felt, how much he loved the man standing in front of him. So he didn't speak. 

He pressed his lips against Wonwoo's, the type of kiss they hadn't shared in years. It was fiery, surrounding Joshua's entire being with a roar, like he was standing in the middle of a bonfire. Wonwoo was holding onto his face like they were the last two people on earth and if he let go, Joshua would disappear. 

But Joshua never would. This was where he was meant to be. 

It ended, unfortunately, and with another well placed peck to Joshua's forehead, Wonwoo joined their hands again. 

"Come on, let's go home. I borrowed some cookbooks from Jihoon and am going to cook you a beautiful anniversary dinner. But don't worry," Wonwoo winked, "I still have takeout on speed dial just in case."  

Joshua laughed at this. Not for any other reason aside from the fact that Wonwoo was wrong. 

He didn't need to leave this place in order to go home. Here, with Wonwoo, he was already there.  

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> this was a commission for my dear friend [nicole](https://twitter.com/minhoenico)
> 
> i hope you liked it nicole !!! and anyone else who decided to read it, hehe 
> 
> if you'd like to, check out my [twitter](https://twitter.com/hongshus)  
> i currently have commissions open for fics and write for a variety of fandoms !! 
> 
> thanks again nicole, this was a lot of fun <3


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